Here’s the really sad thing, I did not win any of the competitions I excitedly applied for (though I did get shortlisted for the Karachi Biennale Emerging Artists’ prize). Truth be told, this can be quite a bummer. I know, I know, there are so many factors that determine who will win. The judges, the piece itself, the idea behind it, how well it adapts to the needs of the contest. But ultimately, what you are really left feeling is: my art wasn’t good enough. And that is such a horrible, and debilitating feeling to be left with!
So in this period of burnt-out-ness, I also had this weight pressing on my mind. This fear, once more, that I simply wasn’t a good enough artist. And though I have learnt over the course of this MA how fruitless, and frankly illogical, this fear can be, that didn’t stop it from assailing me.
Anyway, I’ve decided for the time being to not apply to anymore competitions. In any case, there’s too much to do with the final show looming up ahead. I want to get my bearings and continue creating art I want to create, and sometimes losing makes me lose perspective.
Here’s the submission I made to the Karachi Biennale, which was shortlisted but did not win.