There have been many (too many?) blogposts on this subject. The reason, I think, is the high degree of uncertainty regarding this particular step. You could say this project was like scaling a wall. And at every point of fatigue, I basically felt like I should just let go. So it was a struggle to not quit and keep moving upwards.
In the most recent Skype session, I very proudly announced that I feel freer in my artistic practice of late. Scaling The Untold Edition wall has a lot to do with leaving behind the fear of creating terrible, or unappreciated art.
Let me tell you why.
- The amount of planning I did for this project, the amount of people and resources I gathered for what may appear like the simplest of tasks was overwhelming. There were so many times I felt I could not pull any of it off, let alone pull it off well. But it all worked out when I reminded myself that from the first day of this MA, everything I have done has been an exploration and a reflection. Everything has revealed to me, something about the artist within myself. And this is not something to shy away from. Fear and uncertainty accompany every stroke of the brush and every attempt at public art, but if you see them as necessary steps towards recognizing who you are and less as exemplary works of art to be displayed, you come to terms with them.
- I was ushered into a world of artists, all struggling, all emerging, all changing. And it hit me, that this is the artist’s condition. Struggle leads to expression. Expression leads to understanding. And understanding leads to another struggle to create something else. This is just who we are, regardless of whether we are world renowned or working in isolation.
So yeah, after overcoming that, literally sickening, fear of making a total fool out of myself, studio work is a total breeze. haha. Silver lining after all that probono hard work 😀