Lost and Found: Field Guide to Motherhood Part 1

So here’s the promised first post. Late, but at least it’s here. Sometimes I just have to take it slow, that’s lesson number 1 motherhood has taught me, but more on that later. I was wondering what this first post should be about and I even took a poll on my instagram page. Many of you said ‘writing’, many said ‘motherhood’. Then, yesterday I was talking to my mom and she said something that made me realize I’ll go with motherhood, because here’s a truth that will carry you through the ups and downs of life: Enjoy every era. 

Yup, that’s what I said. Before we dive into how do I do it all, how do I find the perfect balance, where do I find the time. The real secret to this recipe of life, not just motherhood, is this. Enjoy every era. If your kids are small and you’re knee-deep in dirty diapers and used bottles, don’t worry about wasting time and what your future goals are or what everyone else is doing. Cherish that moment. Watch those grubby little hands carry dirt into the house and laugh. Because, trust me, time goes by. Things happen. The world throws curveballs and blessings and achievements. You never know what is waiting behind that next door. And I can promise you, no job,  no amount of money, no award, no fame or achievement will bring eternal happiness. But not living in the moment? I can guarantee that will bring regret. So enjoy this phase. For better or for worse, it is just a phase. Those cute little faces will turn into teenagers. Life will move on. And you’ll be doing things you never dreamed of, good or bad. Don’t make what you’re in now a bad memory. 

Ok. Enough preaching and philosophizing. *claps*. Moving on to how to the question I get asked most often. HOW DO WE DO IT ALL? 

This one has no easy answer. The first thing I must do, of course, is hit you with a chappal as I metaphorically hit myself every few days. Why do you want to do it all? Take it easy. 

Second of all, I want to assure you. There is a way. Yes. There is. And I am here to show it to you.

Are you ready? 

Follow along if you can, or if you’re in bed and reading just read for now and follow along later. The golden rule of motherhood as you will find on this page and in everything I am here to tell you is: Give yourself grace. Forgive yourself. Take it easy. So no hard and fast rules on following along, do what you can <3 

Ok, now, are you ready? 😀 

STEP 1: Grab a notebook and some (cute and colorful, if you have them) pens. Let’s write down those goals, those impossible dreams, those hopes that you don’t dare to let yourself think about too often because gosh there’s no time to chase after them and why make yourself sad? Write them down. I’ll give you one of mine to get you started. Writing a full length, 80,000 words+ novel and getting it published. Yeah, we’re truly talking impossible lol. XD 

STEP 2: Now put that list aside, it’s been noted, but it will NOT intrude into your day to day. 

STEP 3: Now that you know what your big goals are, let’s break them down into smaller pieces. If you said novel, how many words would you like to write in a day, how much brainstorming and research would you need, how much down time to just think and let your creative juices flow? Write that down. If you said run your own blog, or have a social media presence, or make some arts and crafts, what are the small steps you need to get there. For example 3 hours of calligraphy lessons to learn before you start your own business. Write them all down. 

STEP 4: On a separate page, write down the tasks you do daily that are not only for you. It could be work to support your family, running after your kids, cooking meals, driving people around, school picks up drop offs, etc etc. You don’t have to make a definitive list of these but it’s good to have a general idea. 

STEP 5: Let’s construct those time-blocks. Do you all know about time-blocks? Eh, you can’t answer that, so I’m going to explain it anyway. Time blocks are when you divide your day into separate parts that fulfill all these different parts of you. No one time segment corresponds to one thing, because it is impossible to be rigid about things, especially if you’re a mother. I’m going to make a video about this and plug it below. Cuz that’s just easier. 

And that’s it. Now your day is divided into meaningful parts, and you’re not going to spend all morning wondering ‘will I ever get to that enormous accomplishment’ and then getting paralyzed and doomscrolling for three hours instead. Now, when that voice comes to haunt you, you’ll just open your time blocks and say shut up please, it’s time for me to do some writing, or cooking, or cleaning, and you know what? You’ll realize just how many hours 24 hours is.